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Golf & Other Sports
Unlike baseball, players don’t readjust their testicles before each
swing.
Unlike boxing, players don’t chomp on each others ears or punch
them in the groin. Unlike tennis, players don’t grunt like Cro Magnon
men with each effort.
Unlike basketball, players don’t elbow each other in the ribs for
better position. Unlike auto racing, spectators don’t have to breathe
noxious fumes or be forced to listen to "The Achy Breaky Song" on
the loud speaker.
Unlike soccer, the fans don’t trample each other to death if their
favorite team loses.
Unlike bowling, no one knows your shoe size.
Unlike polo, players don’t need to be smug yuppie aristocratic inbred
dweebs. Unlike football, players don’t tell the ref to do a physically
impossible act to himself. Unlike wrestling, spectators have all
their teeth.
© Clark Peterson
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